Financial Woes
by dipothebookworm
Summary: "Young master, beg pardon if I am incorrect, but are you pimping me out?" Ciel is in a predicament. Funtom has had some bad investments, and is losing money. Ciel needs cash NOW. Naturally, this is where Sebastian's natural appeal to women comes in... Threeshot, with updates coming sporadically.


**Financial Woes**

(A/N: I had the idea for this right before I fell asleep, and couldn't go back to sleep until I wrote the idea. That happens a lot. Meaning that it is not in the least bit retarded or idiotic. I don't own Kuroshitsuji, Yana Toboso does, and she makes it awesome.)

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><p>Ciel was not in a good mood. He had looked over the financial papers for his foreign investments, and they were losing money. A lot of it. In fact, if Funtom didn't get a significant influx of cash SOON, they may have to begin borrowing money to make ends meet. And then, the Phantomhive name would be shamed for generations. Ciel could not allow that to happen. Scowling harder than usual, he yelled.<p>

"Sebastian! Come here at ONCE!"

Quicker than the human eye could track, Sebastian left the living room where he had been dusting and entered the office, looking unruffled and as elegant as ever.

"You called, my young master? Perchance you would like a snack, or some tea again?"

"Don't give me any cheek. I've had it up to **here** today already without **your** assistance, thank you."

Sebastian's expression didn't waver, but he had very pleasant thoughts about throttling the young boy in front of him.

'Don't worry, Sebastian, the day will come when you can eat him and be happy. You can have a pet cat if you want! No more nagging, no more making sweets, no more idiot co-workers, no more being threatened to kiss that gay shinigami, no more tying his shoes...'

Lost in his reverie, he hadn't paid attention to a single thing that Ciel had said.

"Is that clear, Sebastian?"

"Hmm?"

"Idiot. I'll explain again, so your stupid demon brain can comprehend it. I **said **that we are in need of a large sum of money, as some of my investments aren't paying off. And I have decided on a brilliant way to get the money quickly and efficiently. Could you guess what that is?"

This was bad. Ciel was fond of playing mind games, and loved to mess with Sebastian.

"Would it be to host a fundraiser?"

"No, of course not, you prat. Are we running a charity? This is a business. Try again. I'll give you a hint: it involves you very much."

"Are you lending me out to events or to work for other people?"

Ciel smiled evilly.

"Yes, I am."

"For what?"

"I was hoping that you would ask that. You are going to be soliciting entertainment for women."

"Meaning…?"

His evil smile grew even wider. He looked like the proverbial lion stalking a wounded deer. For a thirteen-year old child, it was somewhat disturbing.

"If you haven't noticed, Sebastian, women find you attractive for some reason. I think that I can make some money out of that. You see, most married noble and aristocratic women are not satisfied with their marriages, and want men who are exciting, good-looking and dangerous to sweep them off of their feet. Which is where you come in."

"Young master, beg pardon if I am incorrect, but are you pimping me out?"

"Hmm. You could put it in those terms I suppose, yes."

The silence was so thick, you couldn't even cut it with a death scythe.

Sebastian spoke again, uneasily.

"You plan to… sell my body to make money."

"Correct."

"You are thirteen years old."

"Yes."

Sebastian tried to think of a way of get out of it.

"I cannot allow my young master to partake in such a foul business. Surely there must be some other way…"

"Oh, there are plenty of other ways."

"Then do those. They are much less crass."

"No, I don't want to. I want to do something that will make you unhappy. Sebastian, I order you: Become my money-making scheme with your body!"

That little- Well, it was too late. He had ordered it. There was no backing out now. That short little sadist had him backed against a corner.

With a undetectable tremble in his voice, Sebastian answered: "Yes, my young lord."

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><p>(AN: Sorry, I know, I know. Well, I'm not actually sorry, but yeah. Another chapter, featuring Grell, will be coming up as swiftly as possible. NO LEMONS, I am physically incapable of them, but it will tiptoe around it. Read and Review!)


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